How to write an anniversary letter

Most anniversary letters sound like acceptance speeches. "Thank you for this incredible journey." Nobody talks like that. You don't need to summarise your relationship. You need to write about one year — the one you just had.

The camera roll trick

Before you write a single word, open your phone and scroll through the last twelve months of photos. Not the posed ones — the screenshots, the blurry ones, the one of them asleep on the train. You'll find moments you completely forgot about, and those forgotten ones are almost always the best material for a letter. Jot down three or four. That's your outline.

What actually works, by milestone

One month, six months

Nobody's expecting a novel at this stage, which is why it hits so hard when you do write something. Keep it light. What surprised you about them? What were you thinking on the first date that you never told them?

Six months. I spent twenty minutes before our first date deciding which jacket made me look like I wasn't trying too hard. You showed up in a hoodie with a coffee stain. That might have been the moment I relaxed. Haven't really stopped smiling since, which my coworkers have started to notice.

One year

The first year is messy and great. You've seen each other sick, seen each other hangry, probably had at least one fight about something stupid. Write about that. Not just the highlights reel — the real stuff. Being loved when you're not at your best is the whole point.

One year. One Christmas with your family, one with mine, one flu that wiped us both out, and one IKEA wardrobe that we built in silence and have never spoken of since. I now know that you go quiet when you're worried and you can't stop talking when you're excited. I like knowing that about you. I like knowing you.

The big numbers — five, ten, twenty

Long relationships are interesting because the person you're writing to isn't the person you met. They've changed. You've changed. A good anniversary letter at this stage says: I've loved every version of you, and I'm paying attention to who you are now, not just who you were then.

We've been the broke version of us, the sleep-deprived new-parents version, and the version that argued about what colour to paint the hallway for an actual month. I liked them all. Some more than others, honestly. But I'd do every single year again. Even the hallway one.

Wedding anniversary

Don't recap the day — they were there. Instead, tell them one thing you remember that wasn't in the photos. The bit nobody else noticed. Then pick one of the promises you made that day and say something honest about it.

I can't remember a single speech. What I remember is you squeezing my hand three times under the table — our old signal — right when I was about to lose it. You still do that. Happy anniversary. Still the best yes I ever said.

After a rough year

Some years aren't good. You both know it. Pretending it was all wonderful in the letter would ring completely false, so don't. Say it was hard, say you're still here, and mean it.

This year was hard. There were weeks where we were basically polite strangers who happened to share a kitchen. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But we're still here. We're still choosing this. I think that matters more than a perfect year would have.

Lines you can borrow

"I scrolled through this year's photos. You're laughing in nearly all of them. I want to keep it that way."
"You're my favourite person to do absolutely nothing with."
"Same time next year? And the one after that?"

Things that make it land harder

Mention the actual date. "Three years ago today" is a better opening than anything you'll spend an hour trying to think of. Put a photo inside. One from back then, one from now. On Waxsealed you can drop them both right into the envelope. Add the song. If there's a song that's been there the whole time — first dance, road trip, whatever — put it in the letter so it plays while they read. End looking forward. One thing you want to do together this year. Doesn't have to be big. "More Sundays with nowhere to be" is plenty.

Write your anniversary letter

Drop in a photo from back then and one from now. Put your song inside. Seal it with whatever colour feels right. If this one's a keeper, tap "Download Receiver .HTML" before you send it — that gives you an offline file they can open years from now, long after the 72-hour link is gone.

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